Oh...The Joys of Motherhood!

I just love being up until 1:30 in the morning with a puking child. And another one that's fussy and may be puking soon too! Ahh sleep...who needs it? (me desperately!)

It's kind of weird but in the moments when I'm helping them through the discomforts of this mortal body, I love them even more. My heart aches to see them in such pain and discomfort especially knowing there is nothing I can do to completely take it away. I just hope the holding their hair back as they puke, cleaning up after them, and tickling there backs to get them back to sleep does something to help them through it.

It reminds me of one time when I was pregnant with Gracie and sick as ever. I was of course standing over the toilet and throwing up my just recently eaten breakfast, when I felt a little hand on my back. Cute little 3yr old Izzy was patting my back saying, "Mommy, it's gonna be OK, you'll feel better in a minute" and stood by my side through the whole puking episode. Even from my sweet little 3 yr old it was so comforting! Oh, I love my Izzy!...A natural little mother (even if she won't admit it as she constantly reminds us she is not going to have children, she is never getting married, and she is living in this house forever!! Oh the things she soon will learn!:).

I have a PROBLEM!!!

I have a problem...I'm on a diet and can't celebrate my new change in life with a wonderfully fabulous spread of food (I know, I know there are lots of other ways to celebrate but oh a spread of good food would be so good!!).

That is another commitment I have made... To take care of myself physically. OH...THAT IS HARD!!!
I love to exercise (not a problem)
I love healthy food (very good)
I love food (not good)
I love sugar and sweets and everything scrumptious and delightful and crunchy and munchy!! (HUGE PROBLEM!)

I have come to realize (as I have been on this no sugar diet for the last week) that I have a problem...I find too much comfort in food, particularly candy, sweets, bread, pastries, and, OK OK JUNK! In the middle of this first week I got a cold and now I want nothing more than to eat to comfort my lethargic self.

So, I must commit to a quest. Because if I am going to be any different, any better about eating (and I am definitely not convinced completely ousting sugar is the answer) I need to find a new comfort, a new outlet, sadly a new past-time. I don't want to but I know I need to and that is why I am writing today, right now. And you know what it feels really good! (I just won't think about those gooey chocolate brownies that have just come out of the oven!!)

The reason for the quest...I know I'm an ornery mom when I load myself with junk and I don't want to be an ornery, mean, bratty Princess. How will my girls ever learn to be beautiful, elegant delightful princesses if I can't be one myself? So, this is for them and for me. It's only for 21 days so I can find other good things in life, but at this point food is still divinely wonderful. Why is it when you can't have something you want it all the more?! ( Can you tell I'm still rambling because I still need to distract myself until those brownies are gone?!)

So...wish me luck and pray for me! Because this is going to be like slaying a dragon...in fact I'd much rather slay a dragon then miss out on those ooey, gooey, chocolate brownies! (UGGH!! How am I ever going to make it?!)

Becoming...

Today I formally made a commitment to be a "stay at home mom"...I quit my job! It was so good, but so hard. It was hard to not feel like I was giving up or quitting on something I worked so hard to get, but thanks to my Prince Charming I was reminded what was most important...my sweet little budding princeses. Even though I wasn't working a lot, mentally it was an excuse and a distraction from my kids, from me, and my creative side that has been so longing to come out. So I did it... today is the start of a new me. A more focused mom, a more committed homemaker, focused homekeeper (ugh), and a creative woman. It's all about becoming and I wasn't becoming I was stagnant and paralyzed. Here's to becoming...now where to begin?!